The Hermit As Feelings in Love (upright & reversed)

The Hermit suggests that the attraction is there – but their feelings are kept private for now, as they process things internally. This can be especially hard in new connections, where silence feels uncertain. However, unlike other cards of retreat in the deck, the Hermit does not withdraw because they are uninterested or avoiding you. On the contrary, this card shows someone who needs time alone to come to a conclusion because the situation is actually important to them. It points to someone taking their thoughts and feelings about you seriously, wanting to understand what they feel in a responsible way before showing it.

In relationships, The Hermit points to a need for space and reflection. It doesn’t mean they’ve lost interest or are pulling away for good – but rather that they need quiet to reconnect with themselves. This can sometimes feel unsettling if you’re expecting openness and constant sharing, but the Hermit points to an internal process that has value for the relationship as a whole. If times have been challenging, the Hermit shows that your partner is not avoiding the issues but taking them seriously. They may be working through questions or emotions privately because they want to arrive at clarity before speaking.

The Hermit suggests that their feelings are being held inward rather than expressed. This card points to someone who is reflecting on what happened between you, possibly replaying memories and lessons learned. They may be trying to make sense of what the connection meant and how it shaped them. Whether or not they intend to reach out, the Hermit indicates that you are taken seriously in their inner world. As for reconciliation, the Hermit leans more toward inner growth than reunion – if a reconnection does happen, it will only come after a period of clarity and soul-searching.

Here are some of the traditional interpretations of The Hermit in love and relationships when it shows up reversed:

• they withdraw too much, becoming distant or emotionally unavailable
• instead of using solitude to reflect, they avoid dealing with their feelings altogether
• they may ghost, shut down, or keep everything bottled up, leaving the other person confused
• they get stuck in overthinking and hesitation, unable to move the connection forward
• they create unnecessary loneliness by shutting someone out instead of letting them in

On a positive note, The Hermit reversed can suggest:

• they’re ready to come out of isolation and re-engage after too much distance
• they may realize they don’t want to be alone anymore and choose to open up
• they’re learning the life lesson that clarity comes not only from time alone, but also from sharing and connection

Are you dreading when reversed cards appear in a tarot reading? No need to worry – let me explain: First of all, did you know that many professional tarot readers choose to not work with reversed cards? Read my article about “Why I (almost) never read reversed cards” here. Moreover, read this article on “How To Read Reversed Tarot Cards” like a pro!

There is absolutely no right or wrong way of going about this, and including reversed cards in your readings can absolutely make sense. However, especially if you’re just starting out, know that many well established tarot professionals don’t feel the need to include them or assign special meaning to them.